This poll is very new but so far everyone has voted that they like being called ma'am!
This is interesting to me as I must admit... I totally hate it. It makes me feel old, and the word just sounds nasally and obnoxious when it comes out of anyone's mouth. Usually it's anyone who works in a store that calls me "ma'am". I guess I started hating it because people started calling me it when I was 21 or so and I did not feel like a "ma'am". I also think it's just weird when people who are older than me call me "ma'am". What happened to being called "miss"? I am 29 and married now and I think my window of opportunity for being called "miss" is closing but I wish people would take that opportunity to not make me feel like I'm 90.
I am OK with small children calling me "ma'am" but that's about it. I don't know, maybe I am just immature but that's how I feel about that. Any thoughts?
Friday, July 10, 2009
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14 comments:
Well, Ma'am is a contraction of Madam, which is french for Mrs. I guess it means people think you are of married age. I am 29 and I get it sometimes. I don't mind too much, but I agree, I wish they would say something a little more age or even relationship neutral. Especially because I am not married.
I was talking a little while ago with friends about how I prefer to refer to myself. I am too old and wise and serious to be a "girl", but I am too young and fun and carefree and for "woman". I like "Lady". I am a nice lady, or that lady who lives in the green house. Or the lady who left her wallet at the grocery store the other day.
I don't know, I think it sounds better and more accurate.
I do NOT want to be called by my first name by people who want to be "friendly."
It's MRS.(name) until I tell you otherwise. Good grief, but people are forward. When I go to the doctor or something, and it's my first visit... BOY, I'm not six that I need to be called by my first name.
It's fine if I'm, say, at church meeting another person, or out shopping somewhere. Or a friend introduces me to another friend.
But, in a business setting? A school? I don't call the teachers by their first names unless I'm invited to and would expect that respect to work both ways.
What I think has happened, though, is that people don't want to call you "Mrs." whatever and then find out you're divorced or not married, etc. So they use the first name to avoid these situations. Maybe I should lighten up.
But... maybe this is a "time gone by" thing that one could assume a woman of about 30-50 would be "Mrs. (Lastname)."
Catherine,
I'm not a fan of the word "ma'am" either, and I thought that I was the only one who considered "ma'am" to make one feel like an old lady.
As Laura mentioned, Ma'am" is a contraction for the word "Madame," and I would much prefer the non-contraction version or "miss" as you have stated.
I'm not a big fan of bring called ma'am, but being Southern, I actually appreciate that there are people out there who are thoughtful enough not to be as forward as Mrs. C described.
Ma'am makes me feel old. But given that I'm not a young girl anymore (38), I know it shouldn't bother me.
What REALLY bothers me? being called "honey" or "sweetie" by anyone younger than 65! I'll take ma'am over that any day.
It used to bother me. But it's a lot better than "hon," which makes me really mad, or my first name, which I hate hearing casually coming from strangers. I'm 27 and I have two kids; I guess I'm old enough to be called ma'am and not treated like a little girl.
It was always my understanding that "Miss" was for young, unmarried ladies, "Ms" for older, unmarried ladies, and "Mrs." for married women. If the marital status is unknown, then "Miss" and "Ma'am" are used.
I see it the other way. When I'm out with my children, and I'm called "Miss," "Ms," "Honey," or by my first name, I am offended. That I have children should automatically indicate that I am married. Any other term implies that I am of low character.
I usually just correct anyone politely and go about my business, but it still irks me.
-Jen
I don't really like being called ma'am either. I was first called that at age 24, when I married my Navy husband - the other Navy guys called me ma'am. Totally freaked me out.
Here in Maine, everyone calls women "dear", pronounced as "deah". I LOVE that. It took some getting used to, but now I think it's lovely. Thank you, Deah. Yes, Deah. How do you like your lobstah, deah? :)
Paulla, love it. I wouldn't mind being called 'deah' either. Or they can call me 'doll face' or 'sweethaht' like my grandma from Jersey.
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I don't mind it and prefer it to be liberty of using my first name. The usage of ma'am and other proper titles may also not be as offputting to me as nobody calls asking for my husband by his first name, but rather by his rank and last name instead. I use ma'am and sir myself in appropriate settings, as it sure beats "hey you you forgot your keys!!" ;o) I must confess, though, I'm quite old school when it comes to decorum and protocol, so this might shape my thoughts on such a matter. Even our stationary is quite old fashioned, with the *Insert His Rank Here* & Mrs Sean Ourlastnamehere for our household stationary and address labels and then our own sets with the 'by the book' headings for that as well.
The usage of both sir and ma'am are very common in the south and the military world. While walking around on base, it's not uncommon for my husband and I to be greeted by children with a "good evening sir and ma'am" type thing. Most of my husband's soldiers either call me "ma'am" or if they know us better than "Mrs. Mylastnamehere" in more formal social settings, just as I'd refer to them as say, sgt soandso. First names might be used in less formal circumstances, depending on your relationship with a person.
I don't mind it now. I hate when they use my first name without knowing me personally though...and being called something like hon or dear by a female is okay, but by a guy usually gives me the creeps.
When I worked retail we were always told to look at the card they passed us (if possible) and call them by their first name. Apparently the those marketing people who advice the comapnies say people want an informal touch, but no one I tried it on liked it much, so it makes me wonder where they get this stuff.
Amy,
somehow the thought of being called "ma'am" by military personel or people from the south doesn't bother me as much. I guess when a clerk at a store calls me ma'am it always has disdain in it. Plus I was traumatized recently by a very creepy older woman who seemed drunk working at a fast food place I was at...she kept calling me "ma'am" and asking to see Lil Red. I was getting major red flags off her.
Angelique,
If I could imagine what hell is like, working retail comes to mind. I too have had those jobs where it's in their cooperate handbook to instruct you how to give that "personal touch" which is always forced and never natural.
No problem here being called ma'am. I can't remember when I started to be called that (as opposed to Miss), but it really doesn't bother me. I see it as polite, not pushy or overly familiar, & just a touch old-fashioned....which, in my opinion, is nothing to be ashamed of.
Brenda
I live in a part of Europe where French is one of the main languages, so I'm always referred to as "Madame". I enjoy the respect and also the formality of it. It's dignified. It's one of the millions of things I love about living here.
When I lived in the southern part of the US, I liked being called "Ma'am.
I think it's important to have these linguistic boundaries, especially in this age of extreme informality, not to say, rudeness and downright crassness.
I have a very clear memory of when I went from being "miss" to "ma'am." The first few times it bothered me because it made me feel old. Now I appreciate the respect of not being always called by my first name or "hey you" type names. But I have lived all but four years of my life in the South and it is just a matter of normalicy here. I have trained my children to say "Sir" and "Ma'am" to everyone. Even the teenagers in their life are referred to as "Miss (firstname)" or "Mr. (firstname)." Adults are Mr. and Mrs. (or Miss) (lastname). It is the way of the South, and I actually like it!
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